


your huckleberry

by nebulastucky



Series: codas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Dean, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:39:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulastucky/pseuds/nebulastucky
Summary: Dean watches his lips as Cas drawls, “I’m your Huckleberry.”“Yeah, exactly,” Dean says, because he can't come up with anything else with his heart hammering in his chest like this.They look at each other a minute too long when Dean says, “It's good to have you back, Cas,” and means it.Or: five times in 13x06 that Dean could've made a move but didn't.





	your huckleberry

1.

 

“Welcome home, pal,” is not what Dean wants to say, but he does anyway.

He says it into the space behind Cas’s shoulder, and grips the new coat that little bit tighter. As if holding Cas closer will make him hear the words Dean hasn't even let himself think for so long.

Dean can count on two hands the number of times he's hugged Cas like this - too tight and not long enough - but there aren't enough hands in the world to count how many times he's wanted to just hold on and never let go.

But Dean does let go, because he's not the only one who's missed Cas. He wants so desperately to be selfish and just keep Cas to himself, but he can't let himself. How many times has that selfishness gotten one of them killed?

Dean wants to scream. He wants to cry, he wants to hit something, he wants to get in the car and drive to nowhere, he wants to hold Cas again, he wants he wants he wants.

He looks at the dumb half-smile on Cas's face and wants to kiss him. It's been a long time since Dean let himself want that.

Dean doesn't kiss him. They get into the car and drive.

* * *

 

2.

 

When Jack meets Cas, something in Dean shifts.

He sees them together, watches Jack fold into Cas's arms, and something is different. He looks at Jack and doesn't see the monster that fucked everything in their lives worse than it already was, doesn't see the child of the devil, doesn't see the thing that got Cas killed.

He sees a kid.

He sees a kid with crazy powers that could kill them all in a second, who just learned move a pencil with his mind.

Jack talks about the case he found - “A hunter's case,” he insists - and Dean finally sees that he just wants to help. Just wants to be liked.

Jack says “Dodge City,” and Dean almost laughs. Cas looks at him like he knows what he's thinking.

Dean looks back, feels that familiar ache in his chest, and thinks there's no way he could know. He looks at the ground, because he knows he'll do something stupid if he doesn't.

They take the case.

* * *

 

3.

 

Cas hands him a cup of coffee. Dean mumbles a thank you.

They set a plan for the day, and Sam and the kid disappear. It's just the two of them in the motel room now. It's nice. Quiet. Dean takes a sip of his coffee.

It's just the way he likes it. He cracks a tiny smile before he feels Cas's eyes on him.

How many times have they done this? How many times has Cas made Dean coffee in the morning? How many times has Cas sat with him, content just to wait? Too many and not enough, all at the same time.

Half the cup is gone by the time Dean meets Cas’s gaze. There are so many things that need to be said, so many things Dean won't let himself say.

Cas stands, suddenly, and Dean thinks he's going to walk out. He thinks he's going to walk out that door and never come back, and leave Dean stuck stewing in his stupid feelings for the rest of his life.

It's a moment of pure, real panic, and Dean swears it wakes him up quicker than any cup of coffee he's ever had.

All Cas does is cross the room to sit next to him. Their shoulders brush, and their knees touch, and Dean feels like a damn fool for thinking Cas would go anywhere.

Cas is warm and solid beside him, a physical reminder that he's here and alive and not leaving anytime soon. He doesn't say a word when Dean rests his head on his shoulder.

They lock eyes, briefly, and Dean thinks he could do it. He could kiss him right now, finally do the one thing he's pretended not to want for nearly eight years.

He looks at Cas’s lips, and then catches his eye one last time. He turns away and stares straight ahead.

They sit together like that for a long time, even after Dean's cup is empty.

* * *

 

4.

 

“Just pretend you're from  _ Tombstone, _ ” Dean tells him, and tries not to look at him for too long.

“The city?” Cas asks.

Dean sighs. “The movie. With Kurt Russell - I made you watch it.”

God, that was years ago. Cas probably doesn't even remember. He didn't want to watch it, anyway.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Cas says. “The one with the guns and tuberculosis.”

Dean can't even make himself be mad.

Dean watches his lips as Cas drawls, “I’m your Huckleberry.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dean says, because he can't come up with anything else with his heart hammering in his chest like this.

They look at each other a minute too long when Dean says, “It's good to have you back, Cas,” and means it.

Dean pretends that that's all he wants to say, all he  _ needs _ to say, that it's the only thought in his head when Cas looks at him like that.

He wonders how many more times today he'll think about closing that gap between them, how much longer he'll last before he says  _ fuck it  _ and just gives in.

* * *

 

5.

 

“You two should take Jack back to the bunker.”

Dean doesn't want to say it, he doesn't want to be the one to stay. But he can't go. He doesn't have what Sam or Cas do with Jack, he doesn't know how to deal with him. He doesn't know how to be nice to Jack.

There isn't any argument any of them could make against splitting up like this, and Dean knows it. That doesn't mean he's happy about it.

Saying goodbye is weird. It was bound to be.

Jack doesn't say anything before he climbs into the back seat. Sam tells Dean to be careful, that he doesn't want to have to build another pyre

“Just - don't do anything dumb, okay?” are Sam’s closing words. Dean throws him the keys. The engine starts a second after Sam disappears inside the car.

And then Dean and Cas are left standing on the sidewalk, somehow both looking at each other and the ground.

“I could stay,” Cas offers. Dean wants so badly to accept.

“I think Jack needs you more,” Dean lies.

There's another moment, then, when Dean thinks he could lean in and kiss him, and it would be okay. He could hold Cas against him, press their lips together, and it would be fine.

The moment passes.

Cas puts a hand on his shoulder. “Be careful,” he says, and climbs into the passenger seat of the Impala.

Dean can still feel Cas’s hand on him as he watches the car disappear around a corner.

**Author's Note:**

> im @rogersbuck on tumblr and @nebulastucky on twitter


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